As It Comes
by BrucasGrl309
Summary: “We promise” The lady said rocking the little baby back and forth “We’ll treat her as if she was ours” That’s what I’m afraid of… Brooke felt like saying to the new mother of her daughter. Major BL. Please R
1. Letting Go

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing but the ideas that randomly pop into my head

"I'll love you forever" Brooke said kissing the baby's small bald head. She handed the tiny bundle to the couple, feeling her heart break into a million pieces.

"We promise" The lady said rocking the little girl back and forth "We'll treat her as if she was ours"

_That's what I'm afraid of…_"I know" Brooke said letting a small smile make its way onto her pale face. Her body felt sore and tired, obviously from giving birth. But she couldn't explain why she felt mentally _tired…_just sick of doing the right thing.

Brooke was scheduled to go back to Tree Hill the next day. To her it felt as if her parents were doing damage control. Moving her to L.A as soon as they found out the stick had turned pink and telling everyone she was "visiting" But the truth was that she hadn't seen her parents more than a few hours at a time during the six months she was there.

It had all started when she had gotten pregnant in the middle of junior year. It had been a one night stand between her and Lucas Scott. She lived in the moment back then, taking whatever love she could get from someone and using it as a way to stay happy. Now she could barely crack a smile, let alone seduce someone.

"Peyton" Brooke said greeting her best friend at Tree Hill's Airport.

"I'm glad you home Brooke" Peyton said hugging her. She wasn't sure if it was true but Brooke felt lighter…thinner in a way.

"Me too" Brooke said letting her body sink into Peyton's "I missed you Peyton" Peyton was the only one who knew about the pregnancy and that's the way she wanted to keep it.

"I missed you too Penelope" Peyton said using Brooke's middle name instead "We can fix this" That's how well Peyton knew Brooke. She knew that Brooke would defiantly take some work to get back to normal.

* * *

What do you guys think! I have tons of ideas for this story so I hope you stay tuned… I'm going to love writing this story. Just to let everyone know, it's going to be about Brooke healing and moving on from her baby drama and falling back in love with Lucas. Also for Breyton fans…their friendship will defiantly be strong. 


	2. One Step

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing…not even James Lafferty

Peyton passed the bowl of popcorn over to Brooke who just gave it back to her "Come on Brooke" Peyton said with a sigh "I'm trying here"

"I know" Brooke said glancing over at her. She ran a hand through her hair, feeling the greasiness of five days without a shower.

"You're coming to school tomorrow right?" Peyton said as worry filled her. She was afraid she was losing her best friend.

"Do I have a choice?" Brooke said pushing a smile forward on her face just to show Peyton she was okay.

"Not really" Peyton said pleased to see a smile on Brooke's face, despite how fake it looked on her tired face.

"Well then I'm going I guess" Brooke said dropping her eyes to the ground.

"Brooke…" Peyton said moving closer to her on the small couch. She had made Brooke promise to live in her house until she was certain she would be okay on her on "It's all gonna be okay"

"I'm not so sure about that" Brooke said losing the smile on her face.

"Do you feel like you did the right thing?" Peyton said realizing she was creeping into dangerous territory.

"I _know_ I did the right thing" Brooke said moving a hand to her now vacant stomach "But it doesn't mean I don't miss it"

"What did she look like Brooke?" Peyton said letting her curiously get the better of her. Brooke hadn't shown her any photos of the baby though she was almost certain they existed.

"She had blonde hair" Brooke said feeling a real smile try to make its way to the surface "But not dirty blonde like Lucas. It was lighter…a lot lighter"

"Maybe Lucas has a little secret" Peyton said laughing at the thought of Lucas with bleach blonde hair.

"Maybe" Brooke said letting out a laugh. It felt good to relax a little and open up. Even if it didn't fix anything, laughter always made her feel better "She looked like my mom though" Brooke had always been jealous of her mother's features, so distinct yet soft. It was only the freckles on her face and arms that made her look fit in with the rest of the world; just one thing to show she wasn't perfect.

"I'm sure she was beautiful" Peyton said noticing the tears in Brooke's eyes.

"Thanks P Sawyer" Brooke said resting her head on Peyton's shoulder. She closed her eyes to get rid of the moisture that was blurring her vision.

"No problem" Peyton said running a hand over her best friends face, feeling the tiny tears make their way out of her eyes. At least crying was better than keeping it all in.

It was the next day that scared Brooke the most. It probably didn't help that it was the first day of Senior year. Peyton grabbed her hand as the two made their way into the busy Tree Hill High hallway "There is one thing…" Peyton said slowly "Everyone's been wondering why you left"

"So?" Brooke said afraid to face Peyton directly, rather keeping her eyes on the crowds in front of her.

"There were a lot of rumors Brooke" Peyton said "Even through the summer"

"Like what?" Brooke said getting worried.

"People said you were sick" Peyton said quietly, looking around at the students making their way around the two of them "Gonorrhea, Chlamydia…Aids"

"STD's?!" Brooke said as her jaw dropped. The school she had left in relative peace had turned against her, changing her reputation into one that no one would want.

"At least they didn't guess the truth" Peyton said biting the inside of her lip "I didn't hear a thing about…you know"

"Good" Brooke said nodding. At least her secret was safe from the curious minds of her fellow students who could likely spread it to the worst person of all, Lucas.

"Brooke?" A voice said behind her. She could hear the person getting closer but instead of turn around, she made a run for it.

"Luke…" Peyton said watching Brooke run into the girl's bathroom.

"Was that Brooke?" He said curiously stepping closer to Peyton.

"Yup" She crossed her arms, watching the bathroom door carefully "In the flesh. A none-STD-flesh by the way" Peyton said making sure to get the message clearly his way.

"I don't know what you're talking about…" Lucas said shaking his head, unsure of exactly what Peyton meant by none-STD-flesh.

"Never mind" Peyton said walking past him. She wasn't about to explain something to him that he really didn't need to know about.

"Wait" Lucas said following her "Why did she leave?"

"Lucas…" Peyton said continuing to walk "It's a long story"

"I'm patient" Lucas said hoping to get an answer out of her "I'll listen"

"It's a story I can't tell you" Peyton said keeping her eye on the bathroom door. Brooke slowly opened the door, looking around to make sure no one was watching her. Her eyes met Peyton's and then Lucas's and so she closed the door again, staying in the four safe walls of the bathroom.

"Something happened…" Lucas began "Before she left. I'm scared it was my fault"

'You could say that…' Peyton said to herself, making sure not to let Lucas see the expression on her face "I have to go" She said walking into the bathroom. Brooke was curled in a ball, huddled in the corner under the tampon dispenser "Sweetie" Peyton said kneeling down next to her.

"I don't think I can do this" Brooke said closely her eyes tightly to the outside world, hoping to block out everything.

"I know" Peyton said sitting down against the wall "But you have to try"

"But I can't" Brooke could feel her hands shaking against her leg.

"Come on" Peyton said grabbing Brooke's sweaty hand and pulling both of them up onto their feet. Peyton wasn't sure if Brooke could get past this but she wasn't going to give up on her. Deep down inside, she knew that the only person who could fix all this was Lucas…but she wasn't willing to hand her best friend over just yet.


	3. At A Time

**A/N: **I am so glad people like my story! I wasn't expecting this many reviews…its amazing. Thank you to everyone who have either reviewed or added this story to their Favorites/ Alerts. For anyone who is also reading This Feeling, I am having a pretty big dose of writers block but I am busy trying to get another chapter up so that should happen soon.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing…

Lucas followed Brooke every where for the next few days. Each time he saw her he would try to get close enough to her so he could ask her the question that was busy burning a whole in his brain. "Brooke, please talk to me" He would say, beginning to move at a near jog just to keep up with her.

"I don't feel like talking" Her words were cold and straight forward. She wasn't ready to waste extra emotion on someone she was clearly trying to hate. Her new relationship with Lucas reminded Peyton of an elementary school romance. Where crushes were only shown through how much they bothered or pretended to hate you.

"Peyton" Lucas said catching up to her one day "Tell me"

"I can't…" Peyton said looking around, trying to find something that could get her away from him.

"I know there's something" Lucas said nodding his head "I know it"

"And why is that Luke?" Peyton tried to sound neutral, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with him.

"Because I know her"

"Just give her time" Peyton saw Brooke standing by her locker at the end of the hallway, purposely busying herself with organizing the top shelf "She'll open up"

"I hope so" Lucas stuck his hands in his pockets, feeling the cold metal of the quarter he had forgotten to take out this morning.

* * *

"Miss Davis" The therapist said inviting her into the office. Lydia reminded Brooke of a hippie with her long blonde hair and her colorful floor length dresses.

"Hi" Brooke dropped her backpack next to the couch. She sat down on the edge of the couch, trying not to seem too comfortable.

"Can I call you Brooke?" Lydia said calmly, sitting down opposite Brooke.

"Yeah" Brooke said giving a small smile. She wanted to get out of here as soon as she could. She had never been one to talk about her feelings to complete strangers. It had been her parent's idea when they found out she had been acting out of character when she returned to Tree Hill. It was as if the whole pregnancy had been erased from their minds, leaving only a depressed and troubled teenage girl "Can we just get this over with?"

"Do you need to be somewhere?" The hippie pushed her glasses bag against her nose and wrote something down on her piece of paper.

"I guess not…" Brooke said quietly, glancing out the window to see that it had started to rain.

"So tell me about your daughter" She said smiling brightly. She said _daughter_ as if Brooke had kept the little baby.

"There's nothing to tell" Brooke said matter-of-factly.

"Do you miss her?" Lydia sat back in her chair and crossed her legs Indian style, revealing a penny sized hole in the crotch of her pants.

"It doesn't really matter anymore"

"It matters to you though, doesn't it?"

"Why should I tell you these things?" Brooke said quietly, trying to keep herself from crying.

"You don't have to Brooke. We can talk about anything you want"

"Okay" Brooke nodded, relieved to be skipping that sensitive subject. The sound of the air conditioner in the corner of the room seemed louder as the two of them sat there quietly "Do you know how to get a guy to leave you alone?"

"Is your boyfriend bothering you?"

"He's not my boyfriend anymore" Brooke said defensively, crossing her arms against her chest.

"So he's the father" Lydia said nodding her head. Brooke hated how shrinks knew everything "Does he know?"

"No" Brooke looked away, realizing what the hippie was going to say next.

"Well this makes my job easier" She smiled, placing the notepad down on the table between them "I want you to tell him the truth by the end of this week"

"It's none of his business though" Brooke knew that there would be no winning this battle.

"You're right" The hippie smiled "But this is about you. In order for you to move on, you need to do this"

Brooke sighed, nodding her head "Fine" She said getting up and grabbing her backpack.

"By the end of the week Brooke" Lydia called after Brooke as she walked to the door.


	4. Give A Little

A/N: Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out to you but its finally here. Enjoy :)

Brooke dug in her purse as she walked out of the hippie's office. _Tell Lucas?_ She wasn't sure if she was ready to tell him yet but she decided that she would at least try.

"Can I meet you?" She said talking into her phone. She looked back at the building behind her. Lydia was watching her through the window and waved when she saw Brooke looking back.

"Sure Brooke" Lucas bounced the ball once and threw it in the precise position. It landed in the hoop, making its way to the ground in a quick _whoosh_ "Where?"

"I'll meet you at the river court" Brooke said walking towards her car.

"Good thing I'm already there" Lucas laughed, walking over to the picnic table.

"Good thing" Brooke bit her lip as she opened her car door "Just stay where you are, okay?"

"Okay" Lucas was hopeful as he hung up the phone. He was absolutely sure that they would finally get to the bottom of what was going on with her. He had his own ideas but he wasn't sure if they matched the real thing.

Brooke arrived at the river court fifteen minutes later, looking nervous and worried. She had promised herself that she would at least try to tell him but without any guarantees.

"Hey" Lucas said walking up to her. He reached over and hugged her tightly. She felt awkward but still let her body sink into his because she missed it all these months.

"Hey" She answered him quietly "I needed to see you" She knew she was giving him false hope. He wanted a relationship while she just wanted closure.

"And now I'm here" He smiled at her and touched her cheek gently.

"You probably want to know why I left" She jerked away from him as he began to touch her hair. She was trying to just get it over with so she could leave.

"It's been on my mind" He was downgrading it quite a bit and he knew it.

"Are you sure you want to know?" She walked over to the bench and sat down on it, feeling the grains of wood. She had sat on this same spot so many times.

"Only if you want to tell me" Deep inside, he was itching to know the truth but he wanted it too come across as if he really didn't care either way.

"You're gonna so mad at me" She said feeling the tears collect in her eyes. She shook her head, looking down at her feet.

"Why?" He said sitting down next to her. He rubbed her back gently, trying to comfort her.

"Because…I never told you"

"Told me what Brooke?"

"Promise me first" She said wiping a tear that was running down her cheek "Promise me you won't be mad"

"I promise" He said quietly.

"Remember that one night after I told you my parents were moving to California?"

"Yeah" A small smile stretched across his face as he thought about the night he spent with Brooke on the beach.

"We didn't expect…" She shook her head, talking calmly.

"Oh…" He sighed, realizing what she was talking about "You mean…you got pregnant?" Brooke froze, realizing what she had just told him.

"I have to go" She said getting from the bench and walking to her car.

"Brooke, wait!" He ran after her, wanting to now more.

"No Lucas" She said crossing her arms "I can't do this right now"

"Please" He stopped running, watching her get into her car "Please"

Brooke drove back to Peyton's house and curled up into a small ball on the couch. She closed her eyes, trying to wipe the image of Lucas from her mind "Brooke?" Peyton said walking into the living room "What's wrong?"

"He knows" She sat up and dug in her purse again. A few seconds later she pulled out an envelope.

"What?" Peyton wasn't sure what Brooke was talking about "Who knows what?"

"Lucas knows about the baby" Brooke said opening the envelope and going through the pictures. They were all pictures of her daughter minutes after she was born, a few hours, and then a few days.

"He does?"

"My shrink told me to tell him. So I did"

"What did he say?" Peyton said sitting down next to her.

"I left before he could really say anything" She took stared at one picture in particular. It was a picture taken the day she handed the little baby over. Samantha, the mom was holding her baby and her husband was standing behind the two of them with a big smile on his face. They all seemed so happy and perfect.

"At least you told him" Peyton said looking down at the picture in Brooke's hand "She really was beautiful" She smiled, putting an arm across Brooke.

"Can we frame it?" Brooke said looking up at her. Peyton smiled at her and nodded her head.

"Of course"


	5. Only A Story

A/N: This chapter is a bit small but I promise I will get another one out in a few days. I just didn't want you to think I forgot about the story I hope you like it : )

* * *

"Miss Davis" Her English teacher, Mrs. Smith said pursing her lips "Did you write this yourself?" Brooke hated how she never had these conversations with you in discretion but always openly and pretty loudly in front of the entire class.

"Is there something wrong with it" Brooke felt uncomfortable standing in the front of the class. She could feel the eyes of the kids behind her burning a whole in her back.

"No…" Mrs. Smith said shaking her head. She flipped through the thick booklet, pausing every now and then to take in a sentence "It's actually really good. Amazing"

"Thank you" Brooke tried to reach for the booklet but the teacher gave her a light slap on the hand and stood up from her desk "I think the whole class needs to here this!" She motioned for Brooke to take a seat and she positioned herself in front of her wooden desk so that everyone could see her "Brooke has written a marvelous story. Let me read out a passage"

Brooke shook her head, trying to stop the teacher from reading out _anything_ from her story "Mrs. Smith, I don't think this is a good idea…please" She glanced behind her and noticed Lucas staring back.

_I picked up the small plastic stick and couldn't help but notice the two visibly pink lines that appeared. 'How am I going to tell the father?' was the first thought in my mind. I knew I couldn't raise a baby on my own but I wasn't sure if I could raise a baby with him either. _

"Brooke" The teacher stopped and looked up at Brooke. Everyone seemed to turn around and stare at Brooke with her "Where did you get the idea to write this?"

"Yeah Brooke" Lucas whispered as Brooke turned around to face him "A book I read" She calmly turned back to face Mrs. Smith "I read a book about a girl who had to raise her baby on her own. So I wanted to write the story as if she gave up the baby instead. What she was feeling as she went through this"

"A +" The teacher nodded and smiled "Moving onto other things" She began and got back into her chair behind the desk. Brooke turned around again and smiled at Lucas.

"Are you mad?" She bit her lip and watched his face carefully. He seemed completely relaxed but slightly sad. He shook his head, keeping eye contact with her.

"I'm disappointed" He said back to her as the bell rang. Everyone got up around them and moved towards the door but Brooke and Lucas just sat there, staring at each other carefully.

She got up from the small desk and picked up her books. If he wasn't ready to say something meaningful then she wasn't ready to tell him the whole story.

"I'm sorry you didn't trust me enough to let me in" He said as she touched turned the corner. She stopped in her tracks and looked back at him.

"Yeah, me too"


	6. Trust

Lucas got up from his desk and ran after Brooke "Why?" He said sticking his arms out to his side, as if he had given up a fight "At least tell me that"

"Why did I do what?" Brooke was confused; she had already let him know that she was pregnant. And he already understood why; she didn't trust him enough. So what was he talking about this time?

"Why did you_ kill_ our baby?" His words stung her as he said them. She could feel herself begin to fall apart when the tears began rolling down her eyes in big fat drops.

"Is that what you think?" She said after a while. The hallways was empty, except for the janitor who was mopping the floor. His name was Mr. Pick and he was completely def, had been for years now "You think I kill her?"

"It was a girl?" He felt a small smile appear on the outsides of his mouth, creeping their way inward.

"It _is_ a girl Luke"

"So you kept her?" He said frowning, thinking back to if Peyton ever mentioned a baby living in her house.

"No" She shook her head and wiping her face off "I gave her up. She lives in California with a family who has…five other kids" She laughed a little as she thought back to all the little kids' running around the hospital room, giggling as they played games "I only wanted her to grow up the way she deserves"

"What's her name?"

"Madelyn…Mady for short. They said to me, you can choose her name because we know how hard all this must be for you. And so I chose Mady" Lucas looked down at the floor and shook his head.

"Why couldn't you come to me with all of this? You know I would have been there for you one hundred percent. Remember when I promised you last time?"

"I was afraid that you only wanted to be there last time because you were trying to make up for cheating on me. I thought it would be different this time. So I saved myself from getting hurt again" He seemed to take this in for a minute.

"I would never hurt you again Brooke. I promise you right now, I will never screw you over like that again. With or without a baby, you've always been the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I love you Brooke. So please give me another chance" He moved closer to her and grabbed her head with both his hands. Urgently but gently, he kissed her, picturing the time he had kissed Peyton that first time. This was _way_ better, he decided.

* * *

"Then what happened?" Lydia said sitting forward in her chair.

"I told him I couldn't trust him again. Then I went home"

"Good for you Brooke" The hippie said leaning back. She crossed her legs and smiled "You've stood up for yourself and you went against what you would have previously done"

She shook her head, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue in her hand "I _don't_ want to be with him again. I might have been able to forgive him for cheating but I _can't_ take him back"

"And why not?" Lydia smiled.

"Because I don't want to go through something like for a second time"

"Are you sure Lucas won't be more dedicated to you this time? From what you've told me, he sounds like really he loves you. Would it be so terrible to give him another chance?"

"I don't know…" Brooke trailed off as she checked her watch. _Time to go_, she decided.

* * *

Tree Hill High's principal invited Brooke into his office after finding out the true reason why she left for six months. "We need to discuss something very important" was all he told her before their meeting.

"Thanks for coming in Brooke" He said fiddling with the pen in his hand "So your mother phoned me yesterday. She felt it was her duty as a good parent to fill me in on the reason for your absence last year"

"Oh…" Brooke's mouth slowly fell open. Never had it come across her mind that her mom would find it necessary to tell the principal about all this.

"Coming back to school so soon after all of this must have been extremely hard for you"

"You do what you have to do" She shrugged, staring at all the plaques on his wall. When she had first returned to Tree Hill, even the slightest mention of her baby would turn her into an emotional wreck. She realized she had grown so much through the past few weeks "Is there anything else you wanted to talk to me about Principal Turner?"

"Yes Brooke. I was hoping you would speak at our schools young mothers' class. As someone who has been through everything they are going through, I think it would be such an amazing addition to an already wonderful program. You would get extra credit for it but in the end it's up to you"

Brooke pictured herself talking in front of a class full of pregnant girls around her age. This would obviously be the point where everyone would find out the real reason why she left. But would that be such a bad thing? She had survived worse "I'll do it" She smiled, glad that she could help other people.


	7. Back and Forth

Brooke looked at gleaming pink numbers on her phone and realized she was late for her first class. She turned her steady walk into a run until she saw the doors to one of the health teacher's rooms. As she slowly opened the door, the complete silences inside struck her like a bullet. The room was empty, except for eleven chairs placed in a perfect circle with ten people sitting quietly in them. The chairs weren't the kind you usually found in a classroom but were big with a soft plush cover. They were the kind that always had someone sitting on them and were the envy of the elementary school library. Sorry I'm late" She said giving a half smile as she put her backpack down on the ground. All the eyes in the room turned to look at her and the silence turned into quiet whispering. She realized no one except the teacher had known she was coming. There was only one reason why a girl would enter a Young Mothers group and that was if she was a young mother herself.

"It's okay Brooke, we were just getting started" The health teacher said motioning to the empty chair next to her "Take a seat"

"Thanks" She sat down in the big chair, sinking slowly into the plush. She felt so awkward that she couldn't even enjoy the chair.

"Everyone, I'm sure you all know Brooke Davis. But I don't think you knew she would be here today. So Brooke, can you tell us your story? From the beginning?" The teacher said smiling as she looked around the circle of girls. These were girls she had scene in the hallway and some of them even had a few classes with her. Brooke found it strange as she looked at them and realized half of them she hadn't even known were pregnant or had kids until now. The girls looked normal and happy, not sad and confused like she was when she was pregnant "You don't have to worry, whatever you tell us stays in this room. Right girls?" All the girls nodded and said _right,_ hoping to get the inside scoop on what had happened to turn the most popular girl in school into the quietest.

"Okay" She smiled back at the teacher, feeling the eyes of the nine girls staring at her "I guess it all started when I met Lucas Scott"

* * *

"Keith" Lucas said walking into his uncle's apartment "Can we talk?"

"Sure Luke" Keith smiled as he got up from the big couch "What do you wanna talk about?"

"Brooke" He felt a smile make its way onto his face as he thought of his pretty girl.

"He made me feel so special" Everyone around her didn't say a word as she continued her story "At least until he started hooking up with my best friend. That's when everything changed"

"She left for almost six months and I didn't once think to call her" Lucas squeezed his hands together, taking out his anger on the joints in his fingers "If I had, I would had been able to get her back. Her and the baby. I could have told her she wasn't alone, that we would do it together"

"Lucas, it wasn't your fault that she decided to do what she did"

"Yes it is" He said nodding his head. He couldn't understand why Keith didn't see it "I lost her the day I cheated on her"

* * *

"I knew from the beginning that I wouldn't keep her. I always promised myself that if I ever happened to be in a situation like this, that I would do what would make my baby the happiest…not me. The decision to give her up had little to do with Lucas. The decision to keep it from him however was defiantly because of the trust issue"

* * *

"Lucas, you can still save your relationship with Brooke"

"How can I do that? She doesn't even trust me anymore"

"You can earn her trust back Luke. You're a good guy, it's only a matter of time before she realizes that too"

* * *

"She was the tiniest thing I had ever seen. I counted every single finger and toe twice before I decided I had really created the perfect baby" She stopped for a second and smiled "That _we _had created the perfect baby"

* * *

"If she ever gives me another chance, I know I can prove to her that I'm not the same guy I was back then. What I did with Peyton doesn't even compare to what I feel when I'm with Brooke"

* * *

"Maybe all of this was a sign, you know? This whole thing was probably just a step in the long road" She paused for a second to look at the expressions on the girls faces.

"In the long road to what?" A girl piped in. Realizing she had just interrupted Brooke's story, she bent her head down slowly.

"I'm not sure yet. But people who are meant to be together always find their way in the end, right?"

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* * *

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**Hope you liked that, all reviews welcome : )**


	8. Angels

**I know its short and I know its been a while but I also hope you like it. Please keep an open mind through this one, you'll know what I'm talking about at the end (don't read ahead!).**

* * *

The ringing of the phone jerked Brooke from her sleep. She peered at the clock and realized it was only seven in the morning on a Saturday. She groaned and bent over and picked up the phone on the bedside table "Hello?" She spoke into the phone, realizing she still had that cracked and husky morning voice. It was her mom on the other end, she realized as the woman began to complain about how late it was to still be sleeping. 

"They called" Her mom said after calming down. Brooke could hear someone whispering in the background "They wanted to know if you would visit over Christmas. You know... for closure"

"Oh…okay" Brooke said sitting up. She felt her face was damp on the one side, from crying in her sleep "Do I have bring something black to wear?"

"Yes Brooke, thats what you wear at a funeral" From her moms voice, she realized that she was getting impatient "I've already booked you a ticket over here for the nineteenth. That's two days after school ends for the break"

"Fine, that sounds fine"

"You can bring Peyton along if you'd like. I know she's probably alone over Christmas"

"Well, she'll probably spend it with Jake and Jenny"

There was a long pause on the other end of the phone "Invite whoever you want Brooke" Her mom said before she hung up the phone. In her own way, her mom was trying to make her budge from the rut she had landed herself in.

"I will" Brooke said into the phone before slamming it down. She let her head fall back against her pillow as her mind raced. There was only one name that was in her head right now, Lucas.

* * *

She confronted him the next day, worried that if she waited any longer, he would find something else to do over the break "Hey Luke" She gave him a small, forced smile and leaned against the locker next to his. His face looked serious but instantly lightened up when he saw her. 

"You're talking to me now?" He smiled back at her.

"Well I wanted to ask you something" Her words dragged on as she tried to get them out "My mom was wondering if…" She still wasn't sure how to word it "Do you want to come to California with me over Christmas break?" Lucas took a step back when he realized what she meant.

"I'd love to" He finally said, smiling.

"Really?" She had expected him to give her a layout of things he wanted _her_ to do for him before accepting.

"Yeah, I've never been to California" He said running a hand through his hair. He was happy for one thing; Brooke was finally talking to him again.

"Well then its about time" She said pocking him in his arm.

"Is there is particular reason why you want me to go though?" He hoped saying this wouldn't make her less likely to open up to him.

"Well…" She said thinking about the true reason "Its Christmas and I thought that after what we went through together, we should get to know each other again"

Lucas dropped the smile when he saw how serious her face was"I really want to get to know you again Brooke"

Brooke paused for a second before adding "I know"

* * *

"Mom" Lucas said leaning again the door to Karen's room "Brooke wants me to go with her to California for Christmas" Karen tiled her head and pursed her lips. 

"Do you want to go?" She said folding and hanging the shirts in front of her.

Lucas thought for a moment before talking "I really do" He smiled at himself, thinking of a whole two weeks with her. He didn't want to give his mom anymore information, in fear that she would find out about the baby. Luckily his mom figured it out first.

"I heard something from Haley this afternoon at the café" Her voice was calm as she continued to fold clothes "Brooke had a baby" Lucas froze as his mom gave him a small smile and shook her head "When I had you, I promised myself that I would make sure you had the life you deserved. I didn't want you to be that teenage boy who couldn't control his hormones"

"How can you just assume I'm the father?" He said in a voice a little louder than he had expected. Karen sat down on the bed and motioned for Lucas to sit down too.

"Oh sweetheart, sometimes parents have reasons for not wanting these kinds of things for their kids. We only want to protect you" She said in a low voice as she touched the side of his face.

"Mom, what are you talking about?" Lucas frowned

"After Haley told me about Brooke, I came home to find a message on the answering machine. Sweetie, the baby died last week"

**

* * *

**

**I can already hear people yelling at me...I know people are probably not going to like how I ended that… but let me explain. I had never intended for this story to be one where these teenage parents go out and try to get their baby back…I mean that doesn't happen in real life. I want this story to end between Brooke and Lucas and how they overcame all of this. Maybe we will include a happy epilogue. So please don't be mad at me! It's not what most people expected but sometimes that can be a good thing. Reveiw and tell me what you think.**


	9. Change

Thank you for all the reviews! I'm glad most people agreed with me. I hope this next chapter will clear up some of the questions left open…if not, then they be will later on. Oh and sorry it took so long! School has been crazy. Enjoy.

The plane made a big rumbling sound as if got closer to the ground. Brooke had never like flying, always closing her eyes to the outside world. Her stomach jumped as the plane dropped a few meters, making her throat tingle with nausea. Lucas grabbed her hand and smiled "It's okay" He said sweetly, looking out the small window at the busy streets of Las Angeles.

"When did you ever become such a big flyer?" Brooke joked, squeezing his hand back.

"I'm just not afraid" He said with a shrug "This vacation is going to be too good for that kind of stuff" That's right; Lucas was going to play the guilt card over Brooke. It had all started two weeks before, when Lucas went to Peyton for help.

"_I know you probably can't even begin understand why she would keep this from you" Peyton said pulling away from the hug "But look at it from her point. She carried this baby for nine months, went through twelve hours of labor, and only got to hold her for a little while before handing her over to complete strangers. Don't be so mad that she isn't sharing everything thing with you"_

"_But this was our baby" Lucas put his head in his hands and took a deep breath. He couldn't understand why she would have kept any of this from him. _

"_To her, you may have had something small to do with it in the beginning…but this is her baby. That's also why she didn't tell you that she was pregnant"_

"_Then why would she invite me to L.A with her if she didn't believe we were in this together?"_

_Peyton stayed quiet for a minute as she thought it over "Because she believes in fixing mistakes. She also loves you more than anyone else. Just give her some time" Peyton said noticing a tear on his cheek. She brushed it off with her finger and smiled softly "I'm sorry that you guys lost your baby"_

"So where do we go from here?" Lucas said looking around at the busy airport. People were busy moving past them in large numbers, pulling them suitcases after them. They both felt out of place in this busy place, instead they felt stuck.

"My parent's house" She closed her eyes as she said it before looking at him with a smile.

"Mr. and Mrs. Davis huh?" He smiled back at her "They must have a lot to say to me"

Brooke rolled her eyes and gave him a kiss on the cheek "It doesn't matter what they think. These few weeks are about you and me. There is so much I want to tell you Luke"

"I can't wait" He leaned in and kissed her on the lips, surprising both of them "I love you" He whispered in her ear, sending a tingling sensation down Brooke's body.

"That's good to know" She said to him, smiling sadly. She knew that this whole trip would not be what he expected. She also knew that by the time they leave, Lucas would regret ever saying those three sweet words in her ear.

The house was big and bright inside, with dark wood floors and high ceilings. Brooke led Lucas up to the room where he would be sleeping and then showed him her room, right next door "But my parents sleep right down there" She said pointing down the long hallway "So don't even think about trying to sneak it" She made sure to say it loud enough so that her parents could hear from down stairs. She smiled and winked at Lucas, grabbing his hand and leading him back down stairs for a _nice_ dinner with her parents.

"So Lucas" Mrs. Scott said putting down her knife and fork "Are you excited about spending Christmas with us?"

Lucas tried to finish chewing his food before opening his mouth to speak "Yes, very much so" He nodded and smiled, hoping he was making a good impression "I've never been in L.A"

"Well then we will have to show you around" Mr Scott said and took a sip of wine from his glass "It really is something else for people who don't really travel"

Brooke's jaw dropped and she kicked his feet under the table "I'll show you around, Luke" She hated how her parents judged Lucas before they even got to know him. All they truly knew about him was that he was the love child of two teenagers and then got their own daughter pregnant.

"Oh and I almost forgot" Mrs Scott's lips pierced into a tiny red line as swallowed her wine "We need to get you a black suit"

Brooke sighed and ran a hand over her tired face "Mom…" She mumbled, hoping her mother would stop right there "Please, just stop"

"Brooke" Her mother said offensively "Oh don't tell me you haven't told Lucas"

She turned to face Lucas and mouthed _I'm so sorry_ and was shocked when Lucas sighed and nodded his head, letting her know that he knew everything "A black suit sounds like a good idea" He said quietly, making the whole situation a true reality.


	10. Ending

**Here is the next chapter! Hope you like it :) Also, please check out my poll, I will do the story you guys choose :)**

* * *

Brooke tugged at the bottom of her black laced dress. It hit her right above the knee and flowed smoothly down with a slight empire waist, making her look innocent and pretty. Brooke had found it quite easy to bounce back to her old self after the baby was born, probably, she supposed, because she was still young but she cherished those few stretch marks that had found their way onto her stomach. They were the evidence of an amazing time in her life; a time she promised herself would never be put to shame. "Ready?" Lucas said, startling her. She turned around and shrugged. 

"I'm _seventeen_ and going to my daughters funeral. Who is ever ready for that?"

"_Our_ daughter" Lucas corrected her, stepping closer to her. No matter how they got to this point, all they needed right now were each other.

"Our daughter" Brooke felt her eyes filling up with tears "I like the way that sounds"

Lucas waited down stairs while Brooke finished up. She wore her hair up in a clean pony tail and wore just a bit of makeup, enough to make her look like a family friend, not a teenage mother.

The suit fit Lucas like a glove; he realized when he put it on that morning. He hadn't realized until that point that her parents weren't doing him a favor by getting him the suit, but wanted to prove to their friends at the funeral that he wasn't total trash. It was something Brooke had learned to get used to at an early age. She wasn't there to make her parents happy but was there to create _the illusion_ that they were happy. Weekends had been filled with parties and gatherings, where her parents would brag about how well she did in school and how surprisingly gifted she was. Though a total and complete lie, it had bought the Davis's the title of _that family_. The family who everyone envied and talked about. "Lucas, shouldn't we talk about…" Brooke trailed off as he gently put a finger to her lips.

"Not now" He said in an almost whisper "Not now"

* * *

"Brooke" Marie, the adoptive mom said, beginning to cry and she hugged her "I'm so glad you came" 

"Me too" She tried to smile but it came out weird, crunching up her face as the tears fell "I'm so sorry about all of this" Marie sniffed before answering.

"What are you sorry for? Brooke, this wasn't you fault" Marie acted more like a mother to Brooke than her own mother, she realized. She dried Brooke's face off and smiled slightly "It wasn't anybody's fault. These things happen with newborns"

"But maybe I did something wrong when I was pregnant. Maybe I ate something I wasn't suppose to" She was full out crying now, making her hiccup in between words and turning her voice into that of a little girl.

"No sweetie" Marie sighed, looking around the room of mourners "This wasn't anyone fault"

"I'm still sorry that this happened to you" She shrugged, trying to stop the tears.

"This happened to _both_ of us" She hugged Brooke again, smoothing out the wrinkles in the back of her dress "That little girl had two moms from the beginning"

* * *

That night, Brooke could hear Lucas moving around in his bed, restless. She rolled onto her back and sighed. She was surprised she wasn't as upset as she had expected to be. She knew that eventually her emotions would catch up to her, turning her into a total mush. She heard a creek from Lucas's bedroom and footsteps, making their way closer to her. She sighed and got up in her bed as the dark figure appeared in her door "Okay, I think we should talk" Lucas said leaning against the doorframe. He was wearing boxers with tiny little red hearts all over them, a birthday present from Brooke the year before "What, are you planning on telling me how disappointed you are in me?" She said scooting over on the bed to make room for him "Because I don't know about you, but _a lot_ happened today" 

"You think that's what all this is about?" He said sitting down next to her "That you didn't tell me about this?"

"That's why you've been distant lately, isn't it?" Brooke frowned, wondering about all of this.

"Brooke" He shook his head and looked at her. Sighing, he continued "I've been distant because I just lost something. I lost something that, until a few weeks ago, I didn't even know I had" He paused for a second and looked down at his hands. He clenched his fists and relaxed them a few times "All because you didn't feel it was important enough to tell me"

Brooke's face turned pale and her stomach tightened as she sat there quietly "Lucas, I'm sorry"

"You see Brooke, I don't even care anymore. I don't care about any of this. Because as far as I see it, me and you…we're done"


	11. Dimples

**I decided to do a leap forward, about eight months. It will just give Lucas some time to cool off before you know, we finally get into the really good stuff :P.**

* * *

_The street was empty as Lucas sat down on the bench. He could smell the freshly clipped grass and a whiff of sweetness from flower bed beside him. In the distance, Lucas could hear a little girl crying. She ran around the corner, headed straight to him. Her ruffled pink dress stayed stiff, ballerina like and her light blonde hair bounced in the wind. "Mommy!" She screamed, racing past Lucas. His head turned to look at the beautiful woman standing a few meters away from him._

_"Hello Lucas" She said smiling softly. Her skin was the way it had always been, smooth with a freckle here and there "Its been a long time" She nodded lightly and picked up the little girl "She would have been beautiful" Kissing the little girl in her arms, a tear escaped from her eye "She really would have"_

Lucas woke up, staring straight at the morning sun streaming through his window. He knew what today was, it was the day he had been waiting for all year. It was his daughter's birthday.

His mom was sitting at the table, reading a magazine while sipping her coffee. Her face lid up when she saw him "One year!" She said putting the mug down "God, I wish I knew what she would have looked like" Lucas flinched for a moment, wondering how they had gotten to this point. They were talking about a baby who had died a year ago, yet they openly talked about her future. She would have been a doctor, because she was one of those rare people who could handle blood. She would have waited until marriage to sleep with someone, not because it was what everyone wanted her to do, but because she believed sex was something precious. And she would have died in the arms of her husband, old, wrinkly, and happy. This was what Lucas saw as he looked into his daughter's future. A few months ago, he could barely look at a picture of her. But now he saw her in his dreams every night, doing what one year olds do best, cuddle.

He hadn't seen Brooke since the funeral. She had stayed behind in California, saying she found it easier being around her family. It broke Lucas's heart saying goodbye to her at the airport, but he knew that this was the best thing for both of them. He had told himself that he could never have feelings for her again, not after what she put him through. But that night, after he had pushed her out of his heart, she kissed his on the lips, and whispered something in his ear "I'll wait" And then she was gone. 

Lucas kissed his mom on the cheek and grabbed a bagel to go. He pushed through the front door, taking in the beautiful summer morning. He was finally done with high school. Never again would he have to sit through a boring class, writing down notes on the American Revolution or their past presidents. He was free to do what he wanted now, whether that was writing a book or working at the local Seven Eleven. He and Peyton had grown closer over the last year, almost becoming a couple once or twice. But something was holding him back from going all the way, there was one person he had to finally let go.

--

Brooke heard a tap on her window, feeling a cool breeze tickle her feet. She looked up to see Jeremy standing at the foot of her bed. He was dressed in all black, except for his bright blonde hair "Hi" He said smiling slightly. She smiled back, pointing to the open space next to her on the bed. In a matter of seconds, they were both under the cover, holding each other in the dark.

"I'm glad you came" She said to the darkness, feeling his breath on her hair.

"I'm glad I came too" He said tickling her side. She knew what he wanted, yet she pushed it aside and continued to talk to him.

"Did you have fun today?" She pulled her knees up to her chest, feelings his arms wrapped tightly around her. She rested her forehead on his chest, feeling more comfortable than she had in years.

"Yes, I did" His voice was low, and his arms were strong. They had met almost two months ago, at a party his parents had thrown. Supposedly, their relationship had been planned for years. Their parents were in this together, making sure that both their children ended up where they were supposed to "Your parents seem to like the two of us" She felt his hands drift up and down her back. She was wearing a thin, old t-shirt with a pair of boxers, Lucas's boxers "How long have we been dating?" He said curiously.

Brooke bit her lip, thinking about the day he had asked her out for the first time "Six weeks" His slid a finger under the waistband of her boxers, running it along the edge. Brooke was too scared to push his hand back; afraid of what he would say "It's not that long, you know" Is all she managed to get out. She swallowed, feeling a lump in her throat.

--

The first place Lucas went to was his mom's cafe, where he found Peyton sitting next to Haley, drawing a picture of something. When Peyton saw him, she ran up to him, shoving the drawing in his hands. "Happy Baby Birthday" She smiled as Lucas looked down at the picture of a little girl in the arms of her mother, Brooke.

"Wow..." Lucas said staring at the picture. It was very well done, shaded in all the right areas to imitate Brooke's dimpled face. He couldn't say much about the little girl, since he never got to see pictures of her past a few months but when he looked carefully at her, he could see himself in her face "Its amazing Peyton, thank you"

"Your welcome" She smiled and leaned in to give him a hug. He hugged her back, taking in the smell of coconut from her hair. When Brooke had left him last, it was Peyton who had helped him pick himself up. She was the one who stayed up night after night, trying to find a way for him to forgive Brooke.

_"There is a simple way we can figure this out Lucas" Peyton said checking her watch. They had been sitting here for almost six hours "Close your eyes" Lucas sighed, leaning against the back of his head and closed his eyes "Okay, picture this. You get a scholarship to some wonderful school, who do you tell first?" She hoped for something, something she knew was so far away. _

_"My mom" He said almost laughing. But it was the truth, she was the one person who would be the happiest to know about his scholarship. _

_"Think again, who else?" And then it came, it was something unexpected because it broke her heart but it was predictable. _

_"Brooke" He nodded, smiling sadly "I'd tell Brooke first"_

--

The window was still open, pushing gusts of wind in her direction. She looked over at a sleeping Jeremy, now spread out on the bed beside her. She touched his cheek gently, hoping to wake him "Jer" She whispered, hoping her parents didn't hear them "Jeremy, we need to talk" He groaned before finally opening his eyes.

"Hey" He said sleepily, grabbing her head gently and planting a kiss on her forehead "Sorry I fell asleep"

"It's okay" She said running her hand through his smooth hair "I don't know..." She stuttered as thoughts raced through her mind "I don't know if this is a good idea"

"No, its okay. I shouldn't probably get going before your parents hear us"

"No, I mean, I don't know if _we_ are, you know, a good idea. Jeremy, there is alot you don't know about me" She felt a tear escape from her eye, trickling down her face "There are things that have happened in my life" Brooke shook her head at the disbeleif of what had happened over the last two years "Things I can't erase. Things I don't _want to_ erase"

"Tell me" He frowned, wondering what was so huge that it could cause all this drama "I can handle it"

"Okay" Brooke sat up in her bed, watching him sit up as well "I got pregnant in my junior year" Her words escaped her throat in one smooth motion, flowing out into the still air of her room.

* * *

**So I hope you liked that! All reviews welcome :)**


	12. It's A Mystery

Last chapter! This has been one of my favorite stories to write and I hope you liked it. Enjoy and review. Constructive criticism instead of pointless complaints are always preferred.

* * *

_That means this goodbye_

_is both a goodbye for the past ten thousand years_

_and a prelude to what will come_

_- Nicholas Sparks_

Brooke couldn't remember much about that night. She remembered Jeremy's confused face, frowning before pulling away slowly, then making his way out the window. Slipping out quietly, leaving a distraught Brooke alone again. She assumed her memory was so blurry had something to do with the fact that she had trusted him to be her rescue from everything.

* * *

"You can't just pack up and leave Brooke" Her mom pursed her lips and took a sip of her rum and coke "Be reasonable here, sweetheart" 

"_I am_ being reasonable" The feeling of exhaustion was coming back to her "I'm not going run anymore. I'm done. And I'm going home" She felt the tears collect in her eyes again, then begin to run down her cheeks "I'm going home, Mom"

"What your doing is going back to that boy" She shook her head, placing the glass down on the table "Your just going back to that damn boy"

"At least I want to be happy. You sit here and pretend that everything is fine. Did you even notice that daddy came home at two this morning?" Her mom stayed quiet, staring at the diamond ring on her left hand. This wasn't something she wanted to talk about, that was obvious.

"Don't judge my life, Brooke" She shook her head and picked up the glass "I chose my life because this is what I wanted. You can't tell me you chose to have a baby at seventeen"

* * *

In a way, Tree Hill was both the same and different. The streets and buildings were the same, but the people had changed, just like she had too. Walking past Tree Hill High, Brooke smiled, thinking back to the four years she had spent there. And for almost half of her time there, her heart had belonged to someone. She wondered who would want it now, after so many year. Or maybe, just maybe, it still belonged to that one person from so long ago. 

Brooke walked past the picnic tables to the large tree that stood solitary in front of the school. She ran her fingers across the rough bark, feelings words etched into it. _Brooke and Lucas Forever. _Lucas had made their mark there when they had first started dating in junior year. It was a sign that what had happened wasn't a dream, like Brooke had tried to pretend.

_Its a mystery, how we fall in love_

_Who we fall in love with_

_Why we fall in love_

_But we do_

_And when we do_

_We make vows _

_to declare and __confirm that love _

_forever - Season 5_

Karen's face brightened up immidietly when she saw the young girl pass through the cafe doors "Brooke" She gasped, dropped the wash cloth in the sink and running over to her "Oh my god, sweety. How are you?"

"Good, Karen. How have things been here?" She didn't want to saw it, afraid of the answer. Over the past few months, she had pondered his life. Had he moved on and dated anyone else?

"Same old, nothing changes in a town like this" Karen smiled and winked "Everyone's still the same"

"Do you know where I can find him?" She frowned, thinking of Peyton last visit. Turning her head when Brooke asked about Lucas "I really need to see him"

"Right now, he is probably" Karen thought for a second before continuing "writing his book"

"A book" Brooke smiled, glad that he was doing something great with his life "Thats amazing"

"It really is. I guess it all started when you left. He just stay up for days, writing page after page of something" She smiled a little "he never would tell me what his story was about"

* * *

The library was silent, except for the quiet hum of the air conditioner. It took her almost ten minutes to find him, sitting quietly in the corner with his apple laptop open to a word document. He was frowning as he concentrated at the page in front of him, typing a few words in between concentration. She watched him from a distance for a while, trying to figure out if he had changed at all since she last saw him. He looked a little skinnier, she concluded, and a little more tanned. He looked up from his page and met her in the eyes. Without moving, he smiled slightly and mouthed _'hey'. _She walked to wards him, grabbing a chair from one of the empty tables near by him "Okay, okay. I have to admit my mom phoned me to tell me you were coming" He put up his hands, in an almost surrendering way. His face quickly turned serious. "What are you doing here, Brooke?" 

"I came to see you, of course" She was hesitant to shift her chair too close. So she kept her distance a few feet away "I was hoping..." Shrugging, she felt tears sting her eyes "I was hoping maybe we could work things out"

"Brooke, it's taken me months to move on" He said coldly, keeping his eyes on the computer "I thought maybe you had done the same"

She got up from her chair, feeling a new pain make its way into her body "I heard you're going to be an author" She felt like crawling into a corner, disappearing from the world "It it about us Luke?" She was beginning to get into that hiccuping type cry, smearing all the makeup she had put on so perfectly for this meeting. "Are you write a story about how our baby _died_?" Anger was now the main thing driving the words coming out of her mouth "About _how_ _badly_ I screwed up your life?"

"You never screwed up anything Brooke" He yelled. Standing up from his table, he sighed and made his way over to her "You never did anything wrong" Brooke felt like running away, but instead she collapsed in his arms, crying until she soaked through his shirt.

"Please Lucas" Begging was the only thing she had left to try "I can't imagine..._living_ without you"

"What we had Brooke" He dried her face and tried to sooth her by running his hand over her hair "I could never regret that. But its in the past"

"It doesn't have to be" Brooke pulled away from him, shaking her head.

"Brooke, you can't just go back to the way things were" He went back to his desk and closed his laptop "I'm sorry"

* * *

Brooke checked her plane ticket before wiping the tears in her eyes. There was no other reason for her to stay in Tree Hill after talking with Lucas, she decided. And again, her mother had would shake her head and grab a drink as she walked through the front door. She would go back to the life she hated so much. It was a lifestyle people strived for all over the world but she saw it from a different angle. Her parents parties, her father's adultery, and hopefully Jeremy were waiting for her in sunny California. The intercom went on, calling the number of her terminal over and over again. Grabbing her bag beside her chair, she got up to make her way to the door. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see someone familiar running, almost in slow motion. She turned around to face him, Lucas, in an almost full sprint, making his way through the crowds of happy vacationing families "Lucas?" She dropped her bag, confused as to why he would come back. She was expecting a conversation with yelling, from him mostly, asking her why in the world she had lied to him about so many things. He was now standing a few feet away from her, trying to catch his breathe before speaking "What are you doing here?"

"Have you been crying?" He said moving closer to her. He put him hand on the side of her face, gently running his thumb over the wet skin "Pretty girl" He smiled, leaned in and kissed her. She felt like melting in his arms, letting him absorb everything that had happened over the past two years.

"Its been a long time Lucas" Brooke said hugging him.

"Yeah it has" Lucas took in the smell of Brooke's hair, bringing him back to those nights they spent together. She pulled away from the hug and looked up at him "But its nothing compared to forever"

"I never stopped" She shook her head and smiled "I tried but Luke, I'll never stop loving you"

"I've loved you since..." Lucas thought for a minute before finishing "since the beginning of our story"

_I thought we were invincible_

_But now I know that the things that people in love do to each other, they remember_

_And if they stay together, it's not because they forget_

_It's because they forgive_


End file.
